CS A5: Tutor Feedback

Matt read a recent version which I had worked on following some interaction with a couple of quantum scientists.

I have since, following a chat with Matt, reworked the essay a bit and am now at a point where I need to edit down again – I suspect it is about 1000 words over but am just guessing and so I will need to keep working on it for a while longer to bring in it down to the correct word count. Online CS A5 Image in the age of entanglement – July14th

A5 CS Feedback Form SJFIeld

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Written by the student, and endorsed by the tutor.

Key points

• An interesting, ambitious essay which can be improved with some additions and clarifications.
• Does the argument suggest we need a “new way of thinking about any form of representation” (MW) altogether?

Summary of tutorial discussion

• I need to expand on why I have ‘lumped’ photography and moving image together. (Hopefully can be done with a couple of references either paraphrased or cited directly.)
• No need to undermine myself – believe in the post-structuralist argument I’m making.
• Do I need to follow through with the discussion about still photography falling short, if so, what comes next, process-led practice, participatory practice, etc. Matt asks, “Is the barrier created by the lens between artist and subject too great to undo? Is the obvious next step to eliminate the use of photography at all?”
• Perhaps there is a bit of room to discuss the tyranny of Western cinematic montage patterns and conventions being absorbed into our perception of time, personal narrative etc.
• Be clearer about indeterminism being different to uncertainty (clarify the passage)
• Temper a couple of overly bold statements.
• Have not made enough of a case for introduction of imperialist discussion – can it be woven in more fluently or else dropped?
• From Matt: The anthropologist, Roger Sensi, in his book, Art, Anthropology and the Gift, looks at the relationship between art and anthropology and particularly about the nature of collaboration and exchange. Quoting Marilyn Strathern from her work, The Gender of the Gift, he says, it is at the point of interaction that a singular identity is established’. From this perspective, people are constantly being made and re-made through relations, and things are constantly being created not in contradistinction to persons but “out of persons”. Through gifts, people give a part of themselves. They are not something that stands for them, a representation, but they are “extracted from one and absorbed by another”. This continuity between people and things is what she called a “mediated exchange,” as opposed to the unmediated exchange of commodities, which is based on a fundamental discontinuity between people and things”.

Reading suggestions

See above

Summary

Strengths	Areas for development
Interesting and challenging subject	No need to justify or undermine self
Relevant	Explain why putting photography in the same category as moving image
Ambitious	Be clearer about introducing the imperialist section

Any other notes

 

Tutor name	Matt White
Next assignment due	n/a